Quick to pass bank jokes

One Friday afternoon, Jimmy sent the following letter: Dear Bank Manager, when I try to contact you I am confronted by the impersonal entity which your bank has become. My mortgage and loan repayments will, therefore and hereafter, no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee of your branch, whom
you must nominate. As your bank has often pointed out, the ongoing drive for greater efficiency comes at a cost. A cost which you have always been quick to pass on to me. Let me repay your kindness by passing some costs back. There is the matter of advertising material you send me. This I will read for a fee of $20 per page. Inquiries from your nominated contact will be billed at $5 per minute of my time spent in response. Any debits to my account, as, for example, in the matter of the penalty for the dishonoured cheque, will be passed back to you. My new phone service runs at 75 cents a minute, so you would be well advised to keep your inquiries brief and to the point. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

Bank quotes

If there was a payment to the bank due, and we needed shoes, she'd get the shoes, and then deal with them guys at the bank. I don't mean she wouldn't pay the bank, but the children always came first.

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

The business of a bank is to lend money; which amounts, nowadays, to lending credit.

The real metric of success isn't the size of your bank account. It's the number of lives in whom you might be able to make a positive difference.