How can you tell jokes

Lillian, a blonde, walked into the kitchen to find her husband, Walter, stalking a round with a fly swatter. What are you doing? the blonde asked. Hunting flies, Walter responded. Oh, catching any? Lillian asked. Yep, three males, two females, her husband replied. Intrigued, the blonde asked, How can you tell? Walter responded,
Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.
And some quotes:
A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes. (Zac Efron)
I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I can change the tempos. I can change the mood, because I'm in charge. (Robert Goulet)
Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes. (Aries Spears)
Everyone for the most part is really nice. There have always been jokes, but that's part of being in the spotlight. You can't make everyone completely happy. (Tina Yothers)
I don't want to see people decorating a house or digging a garden. As for guys like Jonathan Ross, he got an award there last Christmas. What for? He doesn't sing, dance or tell jokes, does he? (Ian St. John)
I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry. (Sam Kinison)
Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant. (Rue McClanahan)
Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives. (Robert Collier)
There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories. (Neil Gaiman)
They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh. (Mike Epps)
Well, there are conjoined twins in real life and we can tell a story about them so long as they're not the brunt of the jokes. In this, they're the heroes of this story; we love these guys. (Bobby Farrelly)
When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behavior. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence. (Evan Dando)
You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically. (Hector Elizondo)
You can't just yell jokes at people. (David Cross)
Everyone knows that the ability to tell a funny joke is a fantastic skill. You simply need to understand the basic concepts of good jokes, what makes one joke funny and another just bad, how to tell them properly with the right timing, and how to read your audience to tell what jokes they will like. Think how much it would help if when you left the interview everyone had a smile on their face. Children's sense of humor can be very different from adults', and you will want to know which kids jokes are best for just kids, and how to tell them to get the best response and the biggest laugh out of children of all ages. (James Siew)